So I got no reply to the email I sent back to him yesterday, saying I considered his actions to be blackmail. He didn't even acknowledge that he got the email... maybe he didn't??
So my guts had been sick all day Monday, with worry I suspect, so I had the shits most of the day, and I was lying down in the lounge with the door closed when he came home at 6pm. He didn't come in and see me, but went straight out jogging for an hour without saying a word. I presumed he was pissy with me.
I saw him later and he acted like nothing had happened - that seems to be a pattern. I don't know whether this means he agreed or was ok with the email, or if he was just sick of fighting, and chose to ignore the situation.
In fact he was pretty cuddly with me, which is something I often complain is lacking in our relationship.... little things like, nuzzling my neck or stroking my face - affection - that I have told him I love, and he does it sometimes for maybe a day, then forgets again. He's been doing it for a couple of days.
Yesterday we went to lunch coz we had to drop the Porsche off at the service place, and he was pretty much all over me in the line for a seat at the BBQ place. That was great, but I still wonder how genuine it is.
So, quite cuddly in bed, hand-holding and all that. But no effort at sex or other intimacy, no words that he loves me or that everything will be ok and that he was just angry... so I think he's just 'making nice' so I don't sulk and make his life hell for treating me this way.
It would be SOO easy to think everything is ok, but I know this will come up again and again, so I am very hurt, very skeptical of his motives etc. I read in his journal from years ago that "I know how to please women when I want to" - from that I take it he means he knows all the right things to say and do to make them feel loved and secure, to lull them into a subordinate manner.
I WANT to speak to him about it, to 'finish it off' but also of course I don't want to rock the boat as we're gong away this weekend and there is nothing worse than a 4 hour road trip where no-one speaks. 
I think about leaving his sorry ass, but then I look around me at all the memories we have together - it's hard to describe - but I couldn't leave all that. We have alot of 'joint' stuff, like photos and memorabilia from trips, so many things - it would be impossible to split that up and have it mean the same thing.
So I'm still hurt and confused, and this weekend I intend to spend as much time with other people as I can - and make sure he sees I am getting attention from other people. Sure it might cause his jealousy and an argument, but really, he can't argue about flirting or being around other people, as it's EXACTLY what he does. Looks like it's come to this... "look what I can do and who I can attract ! OH you dont LIKE it??? Well you do it, so tough shit!" 
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